Stressed and Anxious? Are you being naughty or nice

Are you naughty or are you nice?  The answer could give you a clue to the reasons for feeling stressed and anxious.  The threat of coal in my stocking for being naughty seemed quite real when I was a child, so I did my best to be nice. 

Holiday family time is a great place to learn more about your own mind and loosen the grip of stress, to become happier, creative and productive.  In Jungian Psychology, what stresses you out and drives you crazy is called a trigger.  Learning to work with them help to release their hold on you and It becomes easier to be focused and relaxed, more of yourself.  The stress and anxiety do not define you. 

Children naturally make unconscious decisions to fit with our families, assumptions about themselves and the world without understanding situations or making conscious decisions.  As an adult, these decisions have become so automatic, we can’t see them and they could be keeping you from what you really want. 

How to work with what drives you crazy:

  • Look for opposites in your family
  • Is someone bringing up the feeling of anxiety, stress, or annoyance?
  • How are these people different from you?
  • Why is their way so bad?
  • Why is your way so good?
  • What would happen if you let yourself be a little more like that person?

They are giving you a glimpse into the parts of you that you might be pushing away.  Can you see the judgements that you are defending against? I know personally that defending is exhausting.  To be your whole self, clear and focused powerful, confident, start reclaiming those parts of yourself that you had to put away. 

As a child, it was safer for me to hide but then people didn’t really know me. Anxiety can comes from stepping out of what is known and predictable.  So here I am having an anxious moment as I share my thoughts with you.  I was an “over” achiever and still am an achiever.  The “over” was coming from defending against being lazy or stupid, and drawing attention to myself. I worked long hours, weekends, stressed out, clenching my teeth, working to the point of hurting my body.  I used to think that if I stopped being the “over” achiever that I would lose my edge and fail.  It’s not true.  It is possible to achieve even more in life, more love, more success, more fulfillment, and better health.   

Realizing the power in what’s been hidden in the unconscious has had a huge impact on my life.  Working with your mind you can gain freedom to:

  • Be creative
  • Be expressive
  • Make mistakes
  • Try new things
  • Rest body and mind
  • Focus your energy on things that fill your soul
  • Have more fun
  • Feel more connected to both yourself and that which surrounds you

So, are you naughty or are you nice?  Naughty and nice are two sides of the same coin.  The pressure of choosing whether you are naughty or nice could be the source of your stress.  The answer is simple: Allow yourself to be both and neither at the same time. Now, you shouldn’t have to wonder if you have been naughty or nice like you did when you were a child.  There are plenty of treasures to be found during the holidays. If you allow yourself the space to practice and explore those treasures, stress and anxiety will be replaced by better focus, clarity, and a smile that radiates from the inside out. 

Evelyn Maruko received her BS in Psychobiology form USC.  She continued her interest in Psychology and recently received her Jungian Psychology Coach certificate.  She received both her Doctorate in Dentistry and Masters Degree in Public Health from Harvard University.  She has personally suffered from TMJ pain, stress, anxiety and depression and therefore understands the toll it takes on the body.  Seeing patients struggling with TMJ pain, worn, cracked and shifting teeth, Dr. Maruko seeks to fill a need to help work with the mind and body together for better balance, health, and happiness.

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